Employed!

I'm a working girl once again!  I was really not very hopeful about finding exactly what I wanted.  I thought for sure I was going to have to settle with a crappy part time job for even crappier pay.  BUT! I did find the perfect job!

It's at an insurance agency in Fenton, which is about 10 mins from the house and I'll be making $12 an hour which is about $3 more than I had hoped for.  Also, it's only 28 hours a week and I'll be able to drop Bailey off at school and pick her up so we won't have to pay for child care.  I had hoped I would find something in the insurance field again, but wasn't sure if I could find something local.  Marilyn found the help wanted ad in the Tri-County Times, something I would not have looked in.  I've been only looking online on craigslist or MI Talent Bank.

I start on Wednesday, the same day Bailey starts school.  I feel a little anxious about starting all this at the same time, but if I plan it out right it should work with minimum craziness.  *Fingers Crossed*  You should have seen Vince, he was so happy for me!  He took B and I out for dinner that same night.  I know he wanted me to find something that made me happy and was glad when I did.

Another cool thing about it is that I will probably be in contact with the people I worked with at Swett & Crawford.  I'll be in the commercial lines department which is the same type that Swett does.  I think it will be funny to be calling Kelly about business.

I guess I'll give post again next week and talk about how my crazy first day went.  *Does happy dance off the screen*

Happy Birthday Mom... Again

Funnily enough it's my mother-in-law's birthday today.  The day after my own moms.  She is 56 I believe.  It's been a strange week and a half with my husbands family and I'm not sure if we will be having the traditional birthday dinner for her.  The immediate family always gets together on someones birthday and that person gets to decide what we have for dinner that night.  I'll have to ask Casey if we are still having a dinner.  

Marilyn, my Mother-in-law

I have no idea whether I should feel sorry for Marilyn or to still feel pissed over what she did.  I mean I can understand that meeting someone online who says they love you and calls you beautiful can be special.  I can see how she would feel important and validated again because a handsome military man gives you his attention and you want to meet him.  What makes me so mad is how she told Vince about the whole thing.  Why did she tell him over the phone while he was at work, what was the purpose of that??  He came home completely broken that day.  She threw his life upside down and then left him there to deal with it. He ended up getting so wasted with Jeremy that night and crying himself to sleep.  He actually told me that if she could do that to her family then how can she really love him.  I had no idea how to help him or comfort him.  

Then after all that to find out she was sending this guy money!  I mean, why couldn't she tell he was scamming her!  It was so obvious to me from his Facebook page and the story she told about him.  She did finally believe us after Vince pulled up a website that showed the same scam by other people with the same exact story.

I guess everyone is just starting over again.  I know Vince's parents are going to start couple's therapy and I hope they can keep their marriage together.  I know I've been totally avoiding going over there, but I have no idea how to act or what to say to her.  I guess we'll see what I blurt out over dinner tonight...

Happy Birthday Mom

My mom, Corrine.  Fall 2005

She would have been 47 today.  It's hard to imagine that actually.  What would she look like?  Would she have grey hair?  Would she be complaining about wrinkles around her eyes?  Would she be proud of me...

I feel like I have moved past the pain from her death.  It's not a sharp pain so much as a dull ache when I think of her.  It hurts the most when I think about how much she would love Bailey and how much B would have loved her.  My mom was amazing with kids and she would have been the best grandmother around.  

I've been thinking about going back to SOS, but it's been so long since I've been there.  Do I really need to go or do I just want to see Shawn or Amelia again.  To connect with someone who understands.  I don't feel comfortable going because of how I ended it on the crisis line.  It was so sudden and I don't want them to be mad at me about it.  

I think the fact that I just went off on a tangent about something other than my mom in the middle of a post about her birthday means I'm ok with her death.  I always miss her and need her. I'll always have questions about why she had to use that gun, but I've moved past most of the hurt.  

I think I'll call my dad and see how he is doing today.  Happy Birthday Mom. I love you so much.

Job Hunting Woes

And so the search begins...  I've sent my resume to about five ads a day since last Wednesday.  I went to an interview on Thursday for a private airport in Flint.  It sounds like a cool place to work, but I haven't heard anything back from the woman I interviewed with.  On top of that I have to deal with scammers on Craigslist posting bogus ads that I reply to and then have to deal with.

In a perfect world I could find something part time just while Bailey is at school that paid pretty well.  So far I haven't found much like that.  I never thought it would be so difficult to go from staying at home with Bailey to going back to work.  I find I get anxious just thinking about it.  Part of me feels like I've lost all the talent I had and won't be good enough to get a new job.  What if even though I was really good with people and customers, I'm not anymore?  I used to be really organized and a people person, but what if I'm not anymore?

Sometimes I feel like a big fraud talking to these people, selling myself on qualities I had two years ago.  I just keep waiting for them to ask me what I've been doing with myself for the last two years.  Because, what have I been doing, nothing! I haven't gone to school, I haven't tried to improve myself.  I've been staying home gaining weight and quasi taking care of Bailey.  I read online or watch TV all day.  Sometimes I clean, most of the time I don't.  Bailey doesn't need me all that much and lately she's been playing so much with her cousin I only see her when she is hungry.

I wonder if Vince resents me having all this time off while he is working at a job he hates.  It's not like I'm good at being a house wife either.  I'm a terrible cook and I hate it, so I almost never have dinner ready when he gets home.  He says it doesn't bother him that much but he could be lying to make me feel better...

Wow, how's that for spewing all my insecurities all at the same time.  I'll stop now.

New name for the blog?

I'm thinking I need to change the name of my blog.  I never noticed it before but I may be calling myself a wimp. LOL!  In Vince's family when they were kids, if they thought the kids were being wimpy or whiny they called each other a Sarah.  Sort of like I would say "Don't be such a Sally."  We've had many laughs about that actually.  Hmmm, I have no idea what to change it to. Everyone on here is so creative and comes up with something witty.  Now this is going to bug me until I figure it out.

Wow... It's been awhile!

It's been three years since I've put anything on here.  I guess my life got hectic, then it slowed way down.  I must have forgotten about my blog somewhere in the middle of it all.


I was laid off from my job about a year after my last post and I've been staying at home taking care of Bailey ever since.  I'm still receiving unemployment benefits and it's works better for us financially for me to be home for the time being.  I will probably find something part time when Bailey starts kindergarten in September.


It's hard to believe my little girl is going to be five soon.  She did so well in Preschool last year, but for some reason kindergarten feels more real to me than preschool.  She is having a lot of fun this summer playing with her cousins all day, getting tan and playing in the pool.  As much as Vince doesn't like living in our new place, I mostly love it.  Living next to your in-laws would be a nightmare to most people, but my are pretty awesome.  It's also nice for Bailey to have kids to play with.  It keeps her out of my hair and occupied most of the day.  


We moved into this place last summer, it used to be his grandmothers house before she had to be moved into an assisted living center.  We took over the rent at a very good price.  It took almost a month of cleaning and re-painting for it to be livable for us, but I think it's worth it.  


On a non-related side note: I'm chatting with my bestie on Facebook right now.  I'm miss Ashleigh something fierce all the time!  I don't have anyone here in MI that I'm close to like Ashleigh, our lives are so similar and I know if we lived in Maine, we would be hanging out everyday.  Especially during the summer.  It makes me so sad I could cry sometimes how much I miss her. :(


Anyways...  I'm off for the night I suppose.  I have more to get off my chest, but I think that's enough at one time.  Good night.