And so the search begins... I've sent my resume to about five ads a day since last Wednesday. I went to an interview on Thursday for a private airport in Flint. It sounds like a cool place to work, but I haven't heard anything back from the woman I interviewed with. On top of that I have to deal with scammers on Craigslist posting bogus ads that I reply to and then have to deal with.
In a perfect world I could find something part time just while Bailey is at school that paid pretty well. So far I haven't found much like that. I never thought it would be so difficult to go from staying at home with Bailey to going back to work. I find I get anxious just thinking about it. Part of me feels like I've lost all the talent I had and won't be good enough to get a new job. What if even though I was really good with people and customers, I'm not anymore? I used to be really organized and a people person, but what if I'm not anymore?
Sometimes I feel like a big fraud talking to these people, selling myself on qualities I had two years ago. I just keep waiting for them to ask me what I've been doing with myself for the last two years. Because, what have I been doing, nothing! I haven't gone to school, I haven't tried to improve myself. I've been staying home gaining weight and quasi taking care of Bailey. I read online or watch TV all day. Sometimes I clean, most of the time I don't. Bailey doesn't need me all that much and lately she's been playing so much with her cousin I only see her when she is hungry.
I wonder if Vince resents me having all this time off while he is working at a job he hates. It's not like I'm good at being a house wife either. I'm a terrible cook and I hate it, so I almost never have dinner ready when he gets home. He says it doesn't bother him that much but he could be lying to make me feel better...
Wow, how's that for spewing all my insecurities all at the same time. I'll stop now.
No comments:
Post a Comment